Okay, be truthful. Every time you meet someone who you are interested in, you creep them Facebook. Yes? No? Well, I have no shame (well I do have some shame) in saying yes, I do that. I creep. I think that most of us do as well.
Even though there is that possibility that there will be nothing prominent on said person’s Facebook profile, there is always a chance you will find something important, or at least, something to fuel your crush. But we may encounter a problem. The friend request. When you are not friends with a person, depending on their privacy settings, you can’t find out too much about them. But, at the same time, you can’t instantly ‘friend’ them. Especially if you’re romantically interested in them.
So what do you do? How long do you wait?
Well rule of thumb for me is that you must have a few actual conversations with the person before you add them on Facebook. But what constitutes a good conversation? But then also comes the problem, do you add them or should they add you?
I struggle with this every time I meet someone I may be interested in. The confident part of me tells myself to just do it, who cares really? It’s a Facebook friend request, you still have that person you talked to once in camp six years ago, so why not right? But then the not so confident part me doesn’t want to seem too eager.
So when is the appropriate time to add someone on Facebook, or follow them twitter, or tumblr? So here are a three simple questions to evaluate if you’re ready to add the person to your social media:
Do you feel comfortable with them looking at your Facebook?
If you don’t feel at ease with this, then don’t add them. If you aren’t comfortable with your own Facebook being creeped by this person then show them the same respect. Just because you are evaluating the person doesn’t mean they won’t be evaluating you either, so if you aren’t ready to be creeped on Facebook, it probably isn’t a good idea to add the person.
Have you had full out proper conversations with the person?
I know this may seem like a stupid question, but we can all agree that the most annoying thing is when you receive a friend request from someone you had a two second conversation with at that party. Well I’m sure the person adding you in that situation doesn’t consider it creepy or odd. Well, sometimes, without realizing it, we may also be those people. Make sure the conversation you had with the person was an actual conversation, and that you both were involved in it.
Will this be your sole mode of conversation?
If you aren’t going to see this person again, or if you haven’t exchanged numbers it may not be a good idea to send a friend request. However, handle this with your own discretion. Trust your instincts and remember: you probably know best. My personal opinion is that forming a relationship solely on Facebook rarely works out, try forming a face to face relationship first before you move to Facebook to talk to them.
Is the sole purpose of adding them to creep them?
Yes that is a useful and an encouraging reason to add someone to your Facebook friend list, but is it really necessary? No one is really the person on their social media anyway. Once again my recommendation would be to form a relationship outside the world of social media if you can. No one is ever the person they pretend to be on Facebook, no matter how sincere they are.
With all this said, if you feel comfortable adding the person, go for it. Don’t let this stop you. If you don’t then don’t, if you feel like they should add you then so be it. At the end of the day whether or not you two are Facebook friends will not make a huge difference in a relationship. Not really, anyway.