Now as you have probably guessed from the title, the notebook isn’t my type of movie. In fact, watching romantic movies is my definition of cruel and unusual punishment. However, for the sake of journalism..and satisfying the
curious masochistic streak in me – I decided to watch this classic.
It is your usual love story…Boy meets girl. Boy is smitten by girl in his very first glance. Boy threatens suicide in order to get girl to go out with him.. wait what? NOAH HUNG OFF A FERRIS WHEEL and threatened to fall to his death if
Allie – Regina George – did not agree to go out with him. Let’s see… emotional blackmail…and threatening suicide…boyfriend material.
BUUT apparently, I know NOTHING about love because trying to kill yourself for someone you met 5 minutes ago is considered romantic.
Okay, about 10 minutes into this movie and noah seems mentally unstable – “When i see something that i like..i gotta have it…i go crazy,” he says, with a psychotic gleam lighting up his eyes. Sounds like what he needs is a date with a psychiatrist.
“I can be whatever you want. You just tell me what you want, and I’ll be that for you.” Now, if someone was to say this to us IRL – they’d be deported to our friendzone faster than they can say “ifYoureABirdiAmaBird.”‘
“They didn’t agree on much, in fact they argued all the time..” – this obviously means that they are in love, like DUH. Unfortunately.. they break up but it has nothing to do with the fact that they argued all the time or never agreed on much or even Noah’s potential psychosis – but it was because of their different social standings; in true Romeo and Juliet fashion.
During their time apart – Noah wrote Allie one letter every day for a whole year. 365 letters, all of them went unanswered. Now, this shit is only okay in the movies. These days – guys are called “thirsty” for sending 3 text messages and after letter 23 he’d probably get a letter in the mail – from Allie’s lawyers.
Allie falls in love with someone else, someone of the same social standing as her. He was smart, handsome, and funny and her parents approved. So obviously it wouldn’t work out between them. If you have to question why – you know nothing about women. She realizes she still loves Noah when he, truly a master of grand gestures, builds her an entire house and as predicted, she forgets about whateverHisNameWas and runs back to Noah.
It’s okay because she’s a bird – and he’s a bird too.
They managed to make it work and they live happily ever after until Allie gets diagnosed with dementia. Noah reads to her – their love story from – the notebook, in hopes to bring back memories of their love. Despite myself, I found myself smiling through parts of the movie. Maybe the
romance psychosis was rubbing off. Whatever the case, Noah deserves an award for making Allie (and millions of other girls) fall in love with him after calling her a pain in the ass. #madGame
The Notebook IRL:
In a disposable world where everything and practically everyone in our lives are replaceable – can such a love exist outside the realm of Hollywood?
Your favorite misanthropic romantic.
YOU GO GLEN COCO!